Monday, January 17, 2011

"But Why?... You're Beautful!" - Days 15 - 22

Ok... so so sorry for not being more on top of this blog. Last Monday (a week ago today) life started back in full swing. I was back at work, back at rehearsals, back at small group, and had guests in from California. I love how full my life is sometimes. So here are the adventures in dieting over the last week.

1. I ate out for the first (and so far only) time since starting the diet. With a friend in town who is stuck in a hotel room eating microwaved soups and hotel catered lunches, I did not want her to suffer for another meal. Instead we went to Rockfish in Irving. The weekend before I was talking with a mentor of mine who has done this diet and he said he had a really bad experience eating chicken out on the diet. He suggested sticking with fish if I were going to eat out. So that's what I did. I told the waiter no oil, no butter, just steam. The shrimp were amazing. So delicious and I only ate half of them. The steam broccoli on the other hand was glistening a little too much for just steam, so I gave those to Flora to add to her leftovers. It was a relief to eat out, still loose weight, and not feel like I had to clean my plate.

2. I have had 3 days of no weight loss this week. How crazy is that?! I am sticking to the plan, but the scale is telling me the same thing. So I finally gave in and did measurements again. I did those on day 1, but wasn't planning on doing them again until the end. Turns out I am about an inch and a half down all around. Pretty even loss. That made me happy. I also jumped back on the Wii Fit this week for some stepping and boxing. What fun!

3. People have started commenting. It took about 20 pounds lost, but people are starting to ask if I am loosing weight or if they know I am doing this are commenting that I am looking good. But one of my favorite comments came tonight. Here's the story:

I was over the Coates house helping watch the kids. All day I have been stepping on my pants leg with my heels. Because my bottom is a little flatter (just a little), my pants are sagging a bit. I commented on this to Allison. Later that night Karis asked me, "Tina why are your pants falling down?" I told her that I was on a diet and loosing weight. Her reply melted my heart. If I had the money I would have paid for her college education right then and there. She said... "But why? You're beautiful!" I was speechless.

You know what... I am beautiful. I have always been beautiful and I will always be beautiful. I wish I was quick enough on my feet to share that with her. I am not doing this to be more beautiful. I do hope to be more attractive, but those are two different things. I love how the voice of a child can speak God's truth to us like nothing else. It was a child in the bathroom at Saddleback asking his mom why I was so fat that rattled me once before, words of fellow elementary school kids calling me fat (but hey, at least I had a Hard Rock Cafe shirt on and that is cool) that haunts my memories, it is countless children when they reach that age and notice that people are different and point to me and say "she's fat" that startles me every time. The words of children are powerful. And though I have scars from some words, there is healing in some as well. Thank you Karis... for reminding me that I am beautiful!!


Anonymous said...

Tina this gives me goosebumps. Words are so powerful, kids can be so hurtful. Even adults can say such hurtful things without even realizing it. This is a wonderful reminder of how words can be used in a positive light as well. Keep up the awesome work, I know you can do this!

Eth said...

TiNA! You're a strong woman and a beautiful one too! Yes kids can be hurtful...but not intentionally. I was 5 yrs old when I looked at an uncle and hurt him unintentionally by asking my dad, "why does he look so hungry?" He was so thin in my eyes then! Keep up the good work...not to be more beautiful 'cuz you already are. But to be healthier for a long time! Hugs...Eth

Anonymous said...

My dear sweet friend. How wonderful the words of a child and what a wonderful reminder that our words are for healing and not for hurting.May we all be as careful in what we say and why. I am so proud of you for sticking with the eating I know it is not easy but your dilligence is paying off!Awesome 20 lbs lost and the measurements its only gonna get better! I have always said it is more important the way you look instead of the number on the scale (because remember that muscle weighs more than fat!)Love ya girl!

Tina S