I read an article about 6 months ago that Clayton wrote on transitions in the single life. At the end he mentioned the "9s" as transitions points. How it is tough for singles as they approach the decades. The article is here.
After reading this I was bound and determined not to fall into this trap. I think I did a good job for most of my 29th year. But now that my birthday is a little over two months away... I am a basket-case. We have been doing so much goal setting at work, then having to think about renewing our lease and where I will be in a year, that it is hard not to think about where I want to be and how far I seem from it.
We are setting goals up to 2010... and to be honest, it pains me to think in 2010 I will be still single and living in the smallest room in an apartment barely making it financially. I don't know why that bothers me so much though, I have a great life and love where I am and what I am doing.
I just have had an overwhelming feeling that I want to be "in love". I want a man to love me, commit to me, choose me (ok... that was little Grey's Anatomy there). I know it will no solve all my problems. I know I may have too much fantasy and not enough reality in that dream.
I have just seen all my life amazing men who deeply and wholehearted love God, then their wife. It seems cruel to stay on the sidelines... and not get to experience or give that kind of love. I trust God... I do. But that doesn't make it easy. It just means the person I complain the most to about it is God :) The person I seek comfort about this from is God.