Tuesday, October 09, 2007

Singlehood: Making it Offical

Today I had two incidents happen that really spoke a lot about singleness today.

Incident 1:
In the early afternoon a co-worker looked over at me and said, "Have so-n-so and such-n-such broken up?" I did not know what sparked the conversation, but let her know they had, and of an awkward exchange I had with them that led to me knowing this news. Doing so not to give details (which I didn't) of the break up, but more about the situation, so she would not enter into the awkwardness as well. Then it hit me and I asked, "How did you know?" She went on to tell me that on the guy's MySpace page it said he was single. I guess previously it had said "In A Relationship".

Incident 2:
I was going to grab a fun afternoon snack with some friends and the question came from one to the other, "So, are you and such-n-such officially dating now?" She replied that they are "official now". The next question out of my friends mouth was "have you updated your facebook?"

What a display of the times when a dtr (defining the relationship) not only happens privately between two people, but gets published to the world online. I remember another friend who said that she and her boyfriend decided to go and change their status on MySpace to "in a relationship". It was a turning point in their relationship. I know others that when things go south cannot take that ex's pictures off their facebook, myspace, or virb fast enough.

I am not sure how I feel about this. What is the point? What is the purpose? Is it to celebrate the stages and steps in a relationship? We were joking today about what would happen if a guy proposed over facebook? He could send a gift of a ring (a whole $1 gift) and ask for a status change to engaged. Now that is romantic!!

Not too deep down, I feel that this public display is yet another way of showing people we are loved. It is a declaration that we are not alone. Choosing the "single" or "looking for someone" options these programs offer are depressing. I would much rather put "in a relationship", "engaged" or "married". It is a statement, not only about our current condition, but us. Not sure... I may need to think on that more. It is just crazy how we let the human relationships we are in (or are not in) define our status, instead of the Godly relationship that we are in for eternity define us instead.

Just wanted to get you thinking. Hope that did it :)


Marti said...

What an interesting observation. I am so totally out of the Facebook, Myspace loop. I wonder if that is true only for singles in their 20s. Or maybe just hipper singles than I.

Anonymous said...

My goodness! There is a world of romance out there that has me completely snowed. And now my daughter's blog has given me the fruit of the tree of romantic computerized truth and knowledge.

Well back in the 1900's...let's say the 50's and 60's...we had girlfriends and boyfriends ...period. We went "steady". We gave the girl our highschool ring to wear. We proposed in person and gave our girlfriend (now finacee) an engagment ring. We got married and never even thought of moving in ('shacking up' we called it). We held hands in public. Very few of us had bucket seats in our cars ... and the girl would scoot over into the center of the front seat and cuddle as the guy drove. The girlfriend was given our letter jacket to wear.

But now it seems to be so ... computerized! BTW (do those initials mean 'by the way'?) what's MySpace? Is that something that one does "Text Messaging"? And what is Text Messaging and where can I take lessons?

Dad...and grandfather...EB

Sircellan said...

*snorts* While the websites may have changed, this was all going on with a select group of people when I was going through university as well. Making things public on the internet. Having VR marriages. I think I put married, but perhaps I should change it to 'in a relationship' A friend of mine recently changed his religion to 'I'm a sinner saved by Jesus Christ'

When I went through high school, it was the same as when your dad was. You gave them your high school ring and letter jacket. My parents' car had a bench seat across the front (the big red pontiac bonneville) so my mom could sit next to my dad while he was driving. I used to make disgusted noises from the back seat. :-)

It's not that people are looking to see if so-and-so is single on their facebook profile. Mine actually tells me when someone changes it. So, it's pretty loud and clear when someone changes it! I only put married for fear that if I put single, I'd have loads of people trying to hit on me. I know that isn't the case, so perhaps I should change it to 'in a relationship.' It seems more appropriate on so many levels than 'married'! Married sounds like we aren't working together.. or we're stagnant and comfortable together instead of the fact that we're daily improving our relationship with Jesus and with each other. It's active! Married makes it sound like we've reached the end goal when we've really only begun this stage. Thoughts?