Have you ever had a week where you cannot process stuff? Everything comes out... even when you don't want it to, don't think it should, hurt people by doing so, and open yourself up to being hurt?
I don't know why but this has been a week like that for me. I can't seem to finish a thought in my head. It comes out my mouth or typed instead. It is extremely humbling letting people finally see what goes on in my head. But without a filter... it is scary. The scary part is... I don't know why my filter shut off. It is like my discernment meter ran out. I have hurt people I love dearly this week. I have been hurt by people I know love me dearly.
I have been in the Word. Though reading Job 1 & 2 over and over again... is not the most uplifting passages. I have been praying. But... I guess looking back... Monday night I got challenged on some of my beliefs. So maybe I just feel like I have to justify everything now... even when people do not need the full explaination or thought process behind it. When people are not challenging, but asking... I still treat it as a challenge.
The question for me now that I have admitted I have this problem, is how do I turn this filter, this discernment back on? 1- go to the source. I need to ask God for help. I need to spend time just Him and me and be comfortable in my own thoughts. 2- I need to repent and ask for forgiveness. I have already done so with some people, but not all.