Tuesday, November 28, 2006

A Turning Point

This post will be a little more personal than my normal ones. I am just going to put here what I wrote in my journal today. I think it is important to show my struggles... I put on a really good front, but I am human and have pains that are a part of my testimony too. No matter how "together" my life may look.

11/28/06 - My bedroom, Orange County, CA
This morning during staff meeting as people were praying for their families, their wives and children, I was overcome with sadness. I was just sitting there sobbing. It was a final straw on so many of the fears, doubts, hurts, and pain I have felt recently. I told someone later when they asked why I cried that "I want a husband and kids to pray for". I was so touched and moved by these men and their love, care, and respect for their family. It is so beautiful! I want a man to love me like that.
It also hit me this morning that I am in ministry. I knew that in my head before, but not in my heart. That is probably why I have felt this disconnect with my job ever since I started. I was wanting to compare it with my old life instead of building my new one. Today was a good day... a turning point for me. You know I woke up praying today. I need to that more!


Marti said...

My dear sweet friend, what bravery and courage to share something so personal. I feel your pain. I know your longing and it can sneak up on you at the weirdest times. I will be praying not just for you, but with you.

clayton said...

Tina, you are a blessing from the Lord. The Lord knows your heart and hears your prayer. You yearning will not return void. You are a minister. You are a minister at this Church. God has called you to a significant place and at a significant time in the church and more specifically in the single's ministry. To the global glory of God- Clayton

Danielle said...

Hang in there, friend. God hears your prayers.

Anonymous said...

Now wait one little moment, My Only Begotten Daughter. Don't you recall that the rule I laid downw as that you could not date until after you are married. And rule two is that you cannot date anyone that is not from Spartanburg County. So if you are real nice and get me a very worthy Christmas present, maybe...just maybe...I will change the rules.

Hey...remember when you brought that boy home that was just like your dad? Yeah, mom could not stand him!

So much for my humor...or whatever. Hey, I still love you and when you cry, I cry. Say...I thought you were just like your mom, but I must admit...you do have some of dad in you. Well, more than some......love you sweetheart! Dad