Last Friday driving to work I was stopped at the light right before turning into church when I looked in my rear view mirror and saw her. There was a lady in a blue sedan and she was balling. I am talking no holds barred, tears streaming down the cheek, not pretty in anyway (though beautiful in a strange way) sobbing. I could not take my eyes off of her though I had to keep glancing to see if the light was changing. I so badly just wanted to get out of my car in the intersection and go embrace this woman. I had no idea what was wrong... but my heart broke for her. Instead of stopping traffic... I prayed for her. For God to comfort her.
Fast forward a weekend... and I am that lady. I was not driving, but Monday morning I got one of the pieces of news that I was anticipating. My emotions were all over the board. When my body felt like it could not hold anything thing else inside, I headed to my car. There I did a no holds barred, tear streaming, body wrenching sob session. My world literally feels like it is falling down all around me. Even my faith is being tested to the core. My faith that God has plans for me beyond what I can imagine that is. Cause right now I don't see any plans, let alone better ones.
I knew going into the 30 Days of Praise on this blog, that some tough times were ahead. I was hoping that focusing on praising God while my world around me was falling apart would keep my spirit strong and my focus pure. I still pray for that.
God, I do love You. I know You know what is best for me. I know You will never give me more than I can handle. I know things could be a lot worse. I know... I know that You know the plans you have for me. I know You have plans for me to prosper and for my future. Help me be faithful. Show me where to go. If this pit goes deeper, continue turning my eyes to the mountains where Your help comes from. If this pit is deep enough, help me out of it. Show me my footholds and illuminate my path. Amen.