Cello Girl Talks

Learnings From My Third Trip to Rwanda

2011-08-20T08:51:00.000-07:00

This trip to Rwanda was very different than my other 2. On the first two trips we did a lot of assessment. They were extremely difficult, b/c we were not sure what we were seeing. We did not understand the culture, we had trouble communicating and getting clear responses.

This trip we spent the first day and a half on the field hearing reports from pastors, trainers, and a doctor of what the PEACE Plan is already doing and what is working in the Karongi District. They were telling us everything we needed to know. Sure... we asked clarifying questions, but the guessing game was gone.

We got to see some "best practices" already in effect at the Kibuye hospital. We heard from trainers who are out teaching hygiene and cleanliness to church leaders who are teaching their congregation. We entered homes with OVC (Orphans and Vulnerable Children) who were being helped through their church by donations. Donations that come from churches to churches, without a middle man or administration costs being taken out. Homes that are held accountable by their church to make sure that funds get spent as agreed upon. Homes that were struggling, now striving for a better and hopeful future.

We did train pastors for 2 days. What was different this time was that though the first day was full on lecture of what Purpose Driven Church is all about, the second day was group think. We broke the pastors and leaders into groups of 3-4 people and had them take practical application in their culture of the concepts from day 1. We used the structure of the 5 purposes and had pastors share ministries or programs they have as part of that purpose that works and a new thought or idea of how to bring focus on this purpose. It was beautiful to see the interaction between the groups and their ideas. Everyone was taking tons of notes!! That is always a good sign :)

Lastly... the team. We were all so different with such different backgrounds and even passions. It was so cool to see how the overall trip was not perfect for any one of us, but had elements that touched each of us. Dad got to train pastors, Ken and Laurie got to spend time with kids, and I got to sing and process much more. No one got sick and down for the count and everyone got along the whole time. We each knew our part and played it well.

I can tell you that I have grown a ton as a team leader and person since my first international mission trip in 1998 and even since my first trip to Rwanda in 2006.

Here are just a few lessons to share:
1. Having a good translator is SOO important. This can make or break a trip.
2. You have to laugh everyday. In past, I was much too serious about things. Though we are fighting a huge and serious battle for souls... people have to have a break and have fun.
3. People need clear roles established before you get on the field. Who is the "money man", who is preaching, who is teaching, who is doing music.
4. Know the SHAPE of your team and pray for opportunities for everyone. Though we all want to be in our SHAPE the whole time... it was beautiful to be able to step aside and watch others be in theirs.
5. Training is not about learning everything you can, but filling your quiver with as many arrows as possible. So that when you encounter something... you know where to go to get the information you need.
6. There is no such thing as too "prayed up". This last trip I saw so many prayer requests we never thought to ask for answered. So ask for them... and more! Ask expectantly!
7. Ask. If you see something, need something, want to do something... just ask. Those you are working with (especially in Rwanda) are willing to do it or make it happen. We did an impromptu church visit, a visit to the market, and even laundry done. We just had to ask.

If you have more questions about this trip... just email me. Tbrown@fbccoppell.org :)

40 Days of PEACE: Day 12

2011-06-28T08:53:00.000-07:00

STORY

Truth: God invites you to be a part of His grand adventure.

(from journal entry when I originally did this study in Fall 2005)
I often wonder what the soundtrack of my life would be. I know praise music would be a large part, but so much of the emotion and depth of a story can be manipulated in the music. Would a Star Wars, John Williams blaring french horns theme be there? Or a nice Craig Armstrong of George Fenton love theme? Would it have a liet-motif of hope, peace, & joy? I would like to think so. God is the ultimate composer of the music for my life, because He knows where it is going and when it ends. He could foreshadow and build themes. I wonder if he is building a love theme that I have not realized yet with a man. An action score for some adventure I am embarking on. A sad tune for loss I will feel soon. Whatever comes, I am comforted by the fact that God knows. He loves my story and my song. Through Him, it can play brightly for others.

40 Days of PEACE: Day 11

2011-06-27T11:16:00.000-07:00

MISSION

How would I live differently if I really believed that I was uniquely qualified by God for a mission here on earth?

I know that I would talk about Jesus more... not just church. I talk about church a lot. It is not only where I go, where my friends are, but my work. I need to talk about Jesus and my relationship with him, not just His church. It's like only talking about the bride at the wedding forgetting there is a groom. It is ok at first... but come on... people get tired of it.

40 Days of PEACE: Day 10

2011-06-23T13:33:00.000-07:00

MINISTER

Even the church I grew up in said it... "Every member is a minster". But how many people believe and act on this?

There is a belief that missionaries have to be trained in seminary and receive a "calling". Though I think these are both great things for career missionaries, it should not stop lay people from participating in missions. It is not an excuse to forget the calling all Christians have to minister.

God does not call the equipped, but equips the called. We are all created for ministry (Eph 2:10), saved for ministry, (2 Tim 1:9), called to ministry (1 Peter 2:9-10), authorized for ministry (Matt 28-18-20), commanded to minister (Matt 20:26-28), prepared for ministry (Eoh 4:11-12), needed for ministry (1 Cor 12:27, and accountable for and rewarded according to our ministry (Col 3:23-24). (page 46)

So let's get going... this world may seem big and scary... but my fear (in reverence) of the Lord is much bigger than anything this world can offer.

40 Days of PEACE: Day 9

2011-06-22T07:12:00.000-07:00

(Ok... so I know my days are not being consecutive... but I just want to try and get through them all before I head to Rwanda.)

GRACE

Today's reading is just so beautiful. Here is what really stuck out to me:

"God will use you on mission despite your weakness. In fact, God will pour His grace so fully into your life that even your weakness will reflect His strength. It is the grace from God that you carry with you into the mission field, and it is this grace that energizes the Good News you carry to people who desperately need to know about God.

God doesn't need you perfect for your mission because He is an all-powerful God capable of using anything and anyone for his purposes. But equally as important, He wants you - beautiful, flawed you - to show others that He is a God of redemption, a God of second chances who cares about the poor, the brokenhearted, the captives, and the prisoners. You go on mission as a living monument to God's grace and your weakness, your flaws, your worst mistakes give to God as He works through you to bring others with weaknesses flaws, and horrible mistakes into His family."

Lord, I have so many weaknesses. But I stand strong in Love knowing that no matter what I do, have done, or will do - God loves me. His love for me is unchanging. So my prayer is knowing this does not give me or anyone else permission to do wrong, but passion to do right.

40 Days of PEACE: Day 8

2011-06-20T09:38:00.000-07:00

IDENTITY

Truth: God calls you by name to join His mission in the world.

"If you don't know who you are, then you're vulnerable to other people telling you who you are. But the concrete, solid truth is that you are who God says you are and no one else has a vote in the matter." (pg 38)

There is such strength and power that comes from knowing who you are. And it is great to be reminded of it. So... HEY... YOU... YEAH YOU!!! YOU ARE A CHILD OF GOD. BELOVED. UNIQUE. CHOOSEN. AND HAVE A PURPOSE. NO ONE ELSE IN THE WHOLE WORLD IS LIKE YOU AND CAN DO WHAT YOU WERE PUT ON THIS EARTH TO DO. SO... DO IT! DO IT ALL FOR THE GLORY OF THE ONE WHO MADE YOU!

40 Days of PEACE: Day 7

2011-06-16T08:12:00.000-07:00

NEIGHBOR

"Love your neighbor as yourself." Luke 10:27b

'God knows that sacrifice is required for you to love your neighbor as yourself. It means you must love without expecting anything in return. It means you must love others knowing they may not want your love or appreciate your love; they may waste your love; they may discount your love; they may react angrily to your love; they may never understand your sacrifice.' page35

One big growth point for me was finally learning that I could not control the reactions of other, just the actions of myself. Speaking the truth in love, giving to others, and doing the right thing are not always easy. They can cause friends to become enemies or friends to become dear friends. You have to give the situation to God and know going in that you and God are together in it. Then... no matter what the outcome or reaction, you can stand rightly before God even if the other person doesn't "get it".

40 Days of PEACE: Day 6

2011-06-14T07:27:00.000-07:00

MIND

Truth: You please God when you think the same way He thinks.

Question: What thoughts roam your mind that you know should be taken captive for Christ?

The first type of thoughts that I struggle with are the "what if I never" ones. What if I never get married? make more money? have children? This focuses my attention and thoughts on what I don't have instead of what I have been given. When I focus on God and His attributes on His purpose and calling on my life... My thoughts stay more positive and I am quicker with words to help and not hurt.

40 Days of PEACE: Day 5

2011-06-13T13:13:00.000-07:00

Strength

Truth: You please Godo when you admit you need His strength.

(from original journal when I first did this study in fall of '05)
Playing worship music is the best example of this in my life. Often i am tired, my fingers hurt, I don't know the music, can't get the bowing right - yet I melt. I disappear into God's strength. It is not about me. I feel like I could play forever. The question is... what about other parts of my life that need that same strength: lossing weight, loving others, money, materialism. Lord show me how to see your strength in those. I admit they are so overwhelming to me, yet for You they are so easy. Struggling is ok... it shows that I am fighting the flesh, not just giving in. Help me to step out in Your strength to conquer. Let me see that strength does not equal bold. It equals do.

40 Days of PEACE: Day 4

2011-06-13T13:01:00.000-07:00

Soul

Truth: You please God when you serve others on his behalf.

Question: Am I serving others on behalf of God, or am I operating from my own agenda?

There is a point where serving others on behalf of God feels good. It is suppose to. When you are doing what you were created to do, it feels right. But we so often move from doing it and it feeling good to doing it because it feels good. We manufacture the high. How can we stay true? How can we stay on purpose?

We must remember the deeper meaning. The root. The soul.

40 Days of PEACE: Day 3

2011-06-11T09:32:00.000-07:00

Heart

Truth: You please God when you're passionate about the people He loves.

Question: What keeps me from loving God with an undivided heart?

Simple... Me. Often time I just don't put God in the equation. Then how can I give Him the glory? ho can I give Him the honor? How can I ever trust Him? Especially in the small things (that seem like I can control them.)

Loving and Trusting God is so rewarding. Then why don't I do it more? Why is it so hard? Tossing off my sinful nature should be a thing of joy. By doing so I am aligning myself back to the heart of God.

When I play cello, or sing, or am in a crowd worshipping God it is so easy to align my heart with the heart of God. But how do I do that without my cello, singing, or the crowd?

Lord show me how to extend my heart for You and those You love beyond a service and into my everything.

40 Days of PEACE: Day 2

2011-06-10T09:12:00.000-07:00

TRUST

Truth: You please God when you trust Him in small ways.

Question:
What small step can I take today that will help me trust God more?

Say yes more. When asked to go to someone's house or party or event... I often say no. Most of the time I actually can go, but would prefer not to or just don't want to. But putting things out there and stepping out of my comfort zones grows me. It helps me trust God more. It helps me to expect more. It helps me to have positive and negative experiences from which I can learn.

It is funny how going to Rwanda or England or the Philippines= trustin God no problem. But knocking on my neighbors door (or opening the door when a neighbor knocks) is SO hard!

Trust and Obey... for there's no other way!

40 Days of PEACE: Day 1

2011-06-09T07:34:00.000-07:00

I wanted to start off my new role as Director of PEACE with 40 Days of PEACE. During the next 40 Days I will be doing the study I did in Fall of 2006 where I first heard of the PEACE Plan, it's goals and purpose. This was a life changing study for me the first time I did not, not only because of the content, but it was also the first time I completed a 40 Days study from beginning to end on schedule. So here goes:

Day 1 - Love

"When you get near God, you don't become more spiritual, you become more loving."

Questions: What makes it hard for me to believe that God loves me unconditionally? What makes it so hard to express love to the unlovely in the world?

Love to the unlovely? Sounds so poetic. To be honest, it is hard to think of myself as unlovely. But I too am flithy, naked, and poor. Where I am so often blinded by class, color, smells, or culture... I compare myself to others, not seeing our similarities, but differenced.

I know God is love... I totally feel it from the depths of me. Do I deserve His love? No. Do others? No. But God gives it anyway! God so love the world (well... people) that He gave Jesus to die for it! And Jesus died for ALL! Not just the ones who see themselves as lovely.

Unconditional love is so hard to understand with my human mind. Everything here has conditions/restraints: time, energy, money, resources. It is only when this term (unconditional) is taken heaven-side does it make any sense.

But how can I understand a heaven-sided view of unconditional love here on Earth? JESUS. He was able to show unconditional love while on Earth. He surrounded Himself with the most "unlovely" of his day: tax collectors, poor, sick, prostitues.

And here I am being asked to love my upper-middle class neighbors... what's my problem? Why do I struggle so!?

God help me to better love. To love like You.

Maintenance: Day -1

2011-02-08T19:58:00.001-08:00

Ok, awesome story!! I was in grocery store and there was a woman next to me looking at the back of salad dressing labels. I could tell she was frustrated. I asked her if I could help her find something. She was looking for Walden Farms dressing b/c she was on day 2 of this diet called HCG and was having a really hard time. CAN YOU BELIEVE IT!! We talked for 5 minutes. I was able to encourage her, point her to sprouts and tell her what was good and not. then she invited me to her church! Wish I was that bold!! God is good... And even works through strangers in a grocery store!!

I love Food... Day 45

2011-02-01T17:08:00.000-08:00

In retrospect for me the first 4 weeks of the diet was pretty easy. There were highs and lows, but my will power was strong. For me week 5 (last week) was a major turning point. I was sick and in bed (or couch) for 4 days. During that time I watched my favorite television network almost the whole time... the Food Network.

The last day it hit me... I love food. As a creative palette... food is exciting. All the flavors, all the combinations, all the possibilities. I am not someone who follows recipes, but the essence of them (which is why I am NOT a baker, but a cook). Over the last week I have experimented with making my own taco seasoning for some turkey tacos in lettuce leaves. I made a cinnamon applesauce from stewed apples. I made a grilled asparagus frittata. Each was sooo fun to think up and try and tasted pretty good.

The hardest part is that I am so restricted with this diet. I am hungry for new flavors, more cooking options, carbs, sugars, etc. I am dreaming up recipes and about cooking. But also finding it harder and harder to be around food. I am so thankful that this diet has bubbled up this passion... I cannot wait until it can be unleashed. I have decided to start having a dinner party once a month. I want to do healthy options, but also try new things that I have never cooked before. I always want to invite different people over who I do not get to see anymore. I am going to start with an International theme and at least 3 courses.

Below are some sample menus... let me know if you want to come to one (and which one) and I'll make sure to invite you to it. :) I can only have up to 6 people at the party... so let me know ASAP if you want to come.

Sample Menus:

Italian Night-
App: Bruschetta
Soup: Vegetable Minestrone
Salad: Caesar Salad
Entree: Spaghetti Bolognese
Side: Rosemary and Sea Salt Focaccia
Dessert: Lemon Sponge Fingers

Asian Night-
App: Spring Rolls
Soup: Egg Drop Soup
Salad: Pineapple Ginger Noodle Salad
Entree: Pork and Chicken Adobo
Side: Balsmati Rice
Dessert: Mango and Ginger Clouds

French (which is what I am most excited about)-
App: Cheese Platter
Soup: French Onion
Salad: Duck Breast Salad
Entree: Chicken Cordon Bleu
Side: Ratatouille Pancakes, Vegetarian Cassoulet
Dessert: Have a bunch to choose from here... thinking... creme brulee, chocolate souffle, cinnamon and apricot souffle, eclair (not all of them, but one)

Still working on the Greek, American, and Mexican menus.

The Days of Blah... Day 25 to I have no idea!

2011-01-25T16:28:00.000-08:00

I have no idea what day I am on the diet. All the days have kinda jumbled together. Then for the last 4 days I have had a viral infection. I do have to say being sick and not being able to have your comfort foods have been difficult (like grilled cheese, chicken noodle soup, crackers, and sprite).

Though that has not been as difficult as staying at home for 4 days watching the Food Network. I am so excited to add a few more ingredients to my cooking and try some new recipes. I see how to make them healthier... I am not craving junk food... just different food. I am a little tired of the vegetables on this plan, though the protein I have been alright with... I am wanting to add back some beef into my life.

I do not know how being on the diet has effected my illness or getting well. I have tried to be smart about it. I have made sure to make a fruit serving an orange everyday for the Vitamin C. This illness has not effected my stomach as much as my throat and sinus. I have also had hot green tea almost every day which has been great on the sore throat. Seeing I am not being as active as normal, I have not noticed any loss.

I am feeling mostly better and cannot wait to reengage with life. Especially since this is my birthday week.

With & Without... Days 23 & 24

2011-01-20T19:57:00.000-08:00

I have gone 3 weeks and 4 days without...
- soda
- sugar
- carbs
- oil
- fast food
- beef
- Mexican food
- Asian food
- going out to lunch
- a food/sugar high
- gum
- corn (even popped)
- CHEESE!! (i don't count the non-fat cottage kind)
- did I mention carbs?

I have gone 3 weeks and 4 days with...
- packing my lunch every day
- eating an apple every day (so far it has kept the doctor away... except for the weight loss one)
- eating a ton of vegetables every day
- giving myself a shot everyday
- getting encouragement every day
- learning how to love myself every day
- not taking the easy way out every day
- reading the Bible every day!!

I am a better person today than I was 3 weeks and 4 days ago? You decide! :)

"But Why?... You're Beautful!" - Days 15 - 22

2011-01-17T17:54:00.000-08:00

Ok... so so sorry for not being more on top of this blog. Last Monday (a week ago today) life started back in full swing. I was back at work, back at rehearsals, back at small group, and had guests in from California. I love how full my life is sometimes. So here are the adventures in dieting over the last week.

1. I ate out for the first (and so far only) time since starting the diet. With a friend in town who is stuck in a hotel room eating microwaved soups and hotel catered lunches, I did not want her to suffer for another meal. Instead we went to Rockfish in Irving. The weekend before I was talking with a mentor of mine who has done this diet and he said he had a really bad experience eating chicken out on the diet. He suggested sticking with fish if I were going to eat out. So that's what I did. I told the waiter no oil, no butter, just steam. The shrimp were amazing. So delicious and I only ate half of them. The steam broccoli on the other hand was glistening a little too much for just steam, so I gave those to Flora to add to her leftovers. It was a relief to eat out, still loose weight, and not feel like I had to clean my plate.

2. I have had 3 days of no weight loss this week. How crazy is that?! I am sticking to the plan, but the scale is telling me the same thing. So I finally gave in and did measurements again. I did those on day 1, but wasn't planning on doing them again until the end. Turns out I am about an inch and a half down all around. Pretty even loss. That made me happy. I also jumped back on the Wii Fit this week for some stepping and boxing. What fun!

3. People have started commenting. It took about 20 pounds lost, but people are starting to ask if I am loosing weight or if they know I am doing this are commenting that I am looking good. But one of my favorite comments came tonight. Here's the story:

I was over the Coates house helping watch the kids. All day I have been stepping on my pants leg with my heels. Because my bottom is a little flatter (just a little), my pants are sagging a bit. I commented on this to Allison. Later that night Karis asked me, "Tina why are your pants falling down?" I told her that I was on a diet and loosing weight. Her reply melted my heart. If I had the money I would have paid for her college education right then and there. She said... "But why? You're beautiful!" I was speechless.

You know what... I am beautiful. I have always been beautiful and I will always be beautiful. I wish I was quick enough on my feet to share that with her. I am not doing this to be more beautiful. I do hope to be more attractive, but those are two different things. I love how the voice of a child can speak God's truth to us like nothing else. It was a child in the bathroom at Saddleback asking his mom why I was so fat that rattled me once before, words of fellow elementary school kids calling me fat (but hey, at least I had a Hard Rock Cafe shirt on and that is cool) that haunts my memories, it is countless children when they reach that age and notice that people are different and point to me and say "she's fat" that startles me every time. The words of children are powerful. And though I have scars from some words, there is healing in some as well. Thank you Karis... for reminding me that I am beautiful!!

You Can Have a Social Life... Days 13 - 15

2011-01-08T18:17:00.000-08:00

Tuesday had spinach and 2oz turkey burger (more like slider) while others got brisket and lunch items from Market Street. Thursday had a dinner of 2oz pork tenderloin and radishes while everyone around me was eating pizza. Friday had a dinner of chicken and zucchini kabobs while everyone else was having brats.

So what did I learn from these experiences?

1. Normally I wouldn't think twice about joining in on any of these and eating what was present. (And probably lots of it.)
2. Others cared more that I couldn't eat the food than I did. (LOVE YOU GUYS!!)
3. The diet is not an excuse to avoid social situations.
4. It was hard to see all that yummy food, but mine was good too.

I still have a ways to go to develop the habits that I think will help me maintain the weight loss. But I am in a groove with the diet. It is not that hard anymore and I am not really that hungry. When I do eat, I only eat about half the meal, then I am full. I have learned to slow down and savor every bite, because the one thing this diet is not changing is my taste buds.

Some new recipes:
Tomato salad - cut tomatoes with salt, pepper, oregano, and thyme.
Cauliflower Mash with garlic - stem the cauliflower then smash with potato masher and mix with garlic, salt, and pepper.
Broccoli Mash - same as Cauliflower mash :)
Chicken and Zucchini Kabobs - make sure you clean the grill off if other meat has been on it. Also you'll want to season the chicken with salt, pepper, and Mrs. Dash seasoning before it goes on the grill.

Pizza Pizza Pizza... Days 11 & 12

2011-01-05T18:37:00.000-08:00

Not much new going on diet-wise. Still loosing a little bit each day and trying to make the restricted diet as exciting as I can. The one thing that has surprised me is what I am craving most. Of course if I see or smell something, I crave it... but am doing a good job (so far) of reminding myself why I am doing this. I think it helps that when I do it, halfway through my meal or snack I am full again, so I am not really hungry for this stuff... just want it.

The biggest surprise is my craving for pizza. I know I like pizza, but it is on my mind all the time. And you know when something is on your mind it makes you see it everywhere. I see people eating pizza on tv (even in The Middle episode tonight pizza was a huge part of the story), billboards, even radio commercials (yes... there was a Little Caesars commercial on the Christian radio station on my way home!!). I don't know what I would do if someone walked in with a Parma's cheese pizza right now. Am I that strong?

So... how can I get my mind off pizza? I don't think blogging about it will help. Oh well. Good pizza... I mean Good Night!

Down & Up... Days 9 & 10

2011-01-03T16:16:00.000-08:00

As you can tell, I am not posting every time how much weight I have lost. That may seem weird to you if you are reading all these posts. I know you are dying to know. If you ask, I will tell... but I learned an important lesson yesterday.

When I stepped on the scale days 8 & 9... it showed 2 ounces of loss each day. I stepped on looking for 2 pounds, not 2 ounces to be gone!! To be honest it was a blow. I have memories of some of the guys in the office coming in each day and comparing their daily loss during their first week. They would brag about loosing 2 or 3 pounds a day. Here I was two days in a row loosing 2 ounces. It didn't seem fair.

On Sunday morning another guy who just finished his maintenance stage of the diet after loosing almost 70 pounds, asked me how it was going. I shared my frustration with him. He told me that his wife had about the same results. He reminded me that a man and woman's bodies handle things differently, but most of all he reminded me that "comparison is a thief of joy".

It is so true... comparison is a thief of joy. My weight had not gone up, it went down. I had gotten more active in those days. And I did not cheat, I stayed with the habits that I am trying to build. I began to rejoice in those things. Rejoice in the lessons (see my last post for some of those) I am learning.

Today, though I was nervous about my first full day at work on the diet, it went well. I was a little slow, but not sure if that was the diet, being gone for a week, or that I have a ton to do. And though this morning the scale told me I had lost 2 pounds and I rejoiced in that, I know I would have rejoiced in 2 ounces as well.

Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, Rejoice. - Philippians 4:4

Cali Friends & Learnings! Days 7 & 8

2011-01-01T19:40:00.000-08:00

In the last two days I have learned a very valuable lesson... Friends are the best distractions from woes. It is strange coming up with ways to hang out with people that do not center around food and eating out... but so far, so good.

Yesterday I got to spend the afternoon with Janine. Janine and I have been through so much together. The two years we were roommates in Foothill Ranch were not the easiest years of either of our lives, but we were there for one another. I love talking with her and how there is no shallow talk... the conversation is deep, meaningful, and life-giving. That plus Ikea and Stonebrier were great distractions from any hunger I might have had.

Then today... Flora came into town. She'll be in the Dallas area for a month and a half. We went to see The King's Speech (Great film!! That movie deserves a Nugget of Truth!!) and then came home for supper. I made the chicken with mushrooms and onions, but since I did not have enough to make my full 3 cups serving and have some for Flora... I added some cabbage too. IT WAS DELICIOUS!! I think Flora ate even less than me. (She is sooo tiny!!) But she really liked the meal. I didn't change the recipe, she was willing to try what I was eating.

We also went to Walmart so she could stock up on some groceries. It was tough being around all those carbs and cheeses and snack foods. It was also hard in the theater not to get popcorn or an icee. But I have not cheated on the plan and do not plan on it. Instead these were great learning moments.

Learning how I associate food with activities:
1. I didn't need Peanut M&Ms or popcorn or a soda to enjoy the movie.
2. I didn't have to go out to eat to have a conversation with a good friend.
3. You can include friends in your diet. And she liked it!
4. And I can walk into a grocery store and walk out without purchasing a "treat".

Great learnings. I am sure there are more to come. I hear Week 2 is the hardest... so please... keep praying!

Diet: Day 6 & Reading Plan: Day 2

2010-12-30T17:27:00.001-08:00

I have to say that today I enjoyed the reading plan vastly more than the diet. Was pretty much hungry all day... and nothing I ate was enough. Plus the rumbling and headache... just not the best day. I think that drinking more consistently instead of drinking most of my water/tea at meals may help. We'll see.

I have loved hearing "recipes" from people who have done this before. If you are reading this and have done this diet... bring them on! I'll try to add any useful combination I discover as well. Rusty's pan-fried (in water cause you can't have oil) chicken with mushrooms (which are usually not my favorite) and onions... was one of my favorite meals so far. I can see that one being fixed again and even post-injections.

In the reading plan (the One Year Bible in http://www.youversion.com/) I read through the fall (Genesis 2). I know it meant more to me and I saw more in it after looking at Romans 5:18 this Advent season. I could not help reading the passage today in light of Jesus and Christmas.

Romans 5:18
Therefore, as one trespass led to condemnation for all men, so one act of righteousness leads to justification and life for all men.

3 down!... Days 4 & 5

2010-12-29T17:38:00.000-08:00

3 pounds down from my starting weight or 7.5 if you count from the end of my load day. Things are going well... there are times in the day where I want to walk in the kitchen and grab something to eat. Most of the time, I don't... I know I can only have so much and I am trying to space it out so as not to go to bed too hungry.

There are times where my stomach starts rumbling... and I am not sure what to do. It gurgles a bit when I start eating too. I am sure as this diet becomes more of the norm, I will learn more about my body, how food effects it, and what is hungry versus yearning.

I have gotten so much support with texts, visits, emails, and calls... THANK YOU!! I know this will be a roller coaster, but I know that support will remain constant.

Also, I know this is a discipline, not a diet. I found it fitting that my Day 1 of 365 reading in the Bible had this verse:

Fear of the Lord is the foundation of true knowledge, but fools despise wisdom and discipline. -Proverbs 1:7

I do not want to be a fool. And though I may not like this discipline... I know it is a way of learning. Learning more about who God made me to be.

Diet Learnings:
Likes-
Egg whites mixed with crushed mustard seed, dill, salt and pepper... it's like a healthy egg salad
Iced Green tea with Stivia (Since drinking this I don't have the headaches)
Cucumber, Radish, and Celery slices with salt, pepper, and 1TBSP of vinegar
Apples sliced with cinnamon and stivia microwaved for 90seconds... quite yummy!

Dislikes-
Cottage Cheese and Cucumbers in the same meal (Though tomatoes and cottage cheese works, I switched it out after trying the first combination. i want to try it with basil and the Walden Farms Balsamic to see if it will make a sort of tomato mozzarella salad)
Only getting 1 TBSP of Salad Dressing/Vinegar... but since I only get 2TBSPs a day... I split it between the two meals or a snack.

Well... Day One Done... Day 3

2010-12-27T19:04:00.000-08:00

Ok, so it's not officially day one, but it is the first of the restricted diet. I made it. It actually wasn't that hard... yet. I can see how it will be though. How the options that I see now, will be old news soon and what looks like variety, will look like limits.

What I am most proud of today is not cleaning out my fridge, but as I was preparing my meals for this week, I did not snack while cooking. I do love cooking and enjoyed trying to vary the way to prepare 2oz portions of pork and chicken. I have some rosemary pork, garlic chicken, and vegetable salads ready to go. I was surprised how much 3 cups of veggies actually is. It looks like a lot when you start, but I am sure my perception will change on that soon. :)

I probably won't write everyday, but do want to keep you up on how things are going, what I am learning along the way, and what struggles I face. I do this not to brag and not as a cry for attention, but so that you can join me in this process and know how to best pray for me.

If you'd like me to pray for you, I'd love to do that too. Message me on Facebook, email me, or comment on a post and I'd consider it joy to pray for you as well!!

Love, TiNA

In case you were wondering... here is what I ate today:
1 Sliced apple for breakfast
3oz of Tuna, 3cups Spring Lettuce Mix, 1TB Walden Farms Dressing for lunch
3cups Cucumber & Radish Slices with 1TB of vinegar (Quite YUMMY!) for snack
2oz rosemary pork tenderloin, 3cups snow pea pods steamed & green tea with 1 stivia packet for dinner
1 sliced apple heated with cinnamon and 1 stivia packet for snack

My new fridge:

Well... It Begins... Load it Up! (Day 1 & 2)

2010-12-26T16:36:00.000-08:00

Well 2 days into the HCG plan. The first two days are load days... meaning you eat lots of fatty and sugary food. This was not a problem yesterday as I Christmas party hopped. Today it was harder... 1.) b/c I was on my own for every meal and 2.) b/c I am not really hungry. But I had McDonalds for breakfast, Panda Express for lunch, leftovers and some snack size candy bars for dinner... so I hope that was enough. I have heard people wish they loaded more. I guess I won't find out if enough was enough for a few days.

One thing that totally makes sense, but I didn't think about before is that after load day #1 I gained 4.5 pounds. Is weird to see the scale go up so much when you are trying to make it go down. I know it will... just didn't think how these two days would effect things.

I was talking with Janine today... who had a very interesting and encouraging dream about "skinny" TiNA... and I was sharing with her how though I have wanted or tried to loose weight so many times before, the timing now seems so perfect. I have so much support from family to friends to my small group to others who have done this plan to my doctor and his staff. Sure... I can fail, things can happen, but I cannot imagine having more love and support and encouragement. What I love is that no one is saying "Yes, you are fat, you need to loose weight." (even subconsciously) Instead they are encouraging my decision and offering support, advice, and prayers. I think I am going to start calling you all Team TiNA :) God has placed each member of Team TiNA in my life for this time... I cannot imagine a better team to have. Keep on cheering!!

Christmas and HCG Eve

2010-12-24T19:22:00.000-08:00

The night before Christmas and all through the house, not a creature was stirring NOT EVEN A MOUSE (cause I would freak out if one did!!). Anyway... The night before I go on HCG and here are some thoughts...

1. I am nervous. I know once I start... that's it... I am committed. I am not someone who is scared of commitment, just likes options. I am glad there is a set eating plan, but not menu during the next 6 weeks. That will give me the freedom I need to make it exciting, even if it is restricting.
2. I am excited! The meds have been in my fridge for a week and I am ready to get them out and get this all going.
3. I love the irony that I want to loose weight so as not to get type 2 diabetes and have to take injections... so I am taking a different daily injection to prevent this.
4. I want to make sure I use the next two days wisely. The first two days on injections you can eat whatever you want... you are actually in a way suppose to over eat and have fatty foods. I know this won't be a problem, but I definitely want to use these days wisely. Not as a good bye to foods... that just doesn't seem emotionally right to me.

And lastly.... MERRY CHRISTMAS!!! I know the gift I am giving myself will be the best I have ever given... a healthier and happier me. May sound selfish, but in some ways... it is about time. I gladly give my time, energy and talents to others... without thinking of my own health, so this is a HUGE step for me. I just have to keep in mind it is not just for me... but a healthy me can better serve others too.

Why?

2010-12-23T21:17:00.000-08:00

Before I begin to blog the how (as in "how's it going?") I want to take a moment for the why.

Why do a someone extreme weight loss program? Why now? Why not do it the "old fashion way"... you know diet and exercise?

Well... to answer the last question first... I will have to change diet and exercise to make the weight loss stick long term, so I am doing that too. The reasons for doing HCG are many. I'll start with the obvious:

1. I am overweight... not just a little, but a lot.
2. My weight is effecting my health and ability to do things.
3. I have seen others go through the program and do quite well.
4. I have a doctor who deeply cares for his patients and those in ministry.
5. It helps to restart habits and how the body processes food.
6. B/c I can.

HCG is a hormone that women create when they are pregnant. It tells the body to use stored fat to feed the baby. On the diet you take a very low dose of this... same as if I were 1 day pregnant. While on the medicine I have a very strict low calorie diet I HAVE to stick to. If I do not, I will gain more weight than I would not on the meds. This is not an FDA approved medicine. I will be monitored weekly by a doctor and I have a TON of support from friends who have gone through this, or who just flat out love me.

So why not?!

The only reasons not to is my fears of what I will learn about myself and food, of loosing the safety net of being overweight, my laziness at not wanting to preplan food, cause I can't do what I want to do... I have to do what the program tells me to do,... All of these are pretty selfish reasons.

So what do I hope to get out of this?
Though I have an amount I'd like to loose... my real goal is for my size to not stop me from doing things... primarily missions. The thought of seating in an airplane seat for 22 hours is bad enough without a seat belt poking into your hip and leaving bruises. It has been stopping me from going back to Rwanda... and that's not right. So... Rwanda... here I come!

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!

2010-12-21T12:45:00.001-08:00

2011 - A Year of Discipline

2010-12-20T16:18:00.000-08:00

Doesn't sound like the most fun goal for the New Year does it? Well... around 33 years old Jesus got baptized, was tempted, then started down a path that lead to His death and our eternal life.

As 2011 and my 33rd birthday approach harsh realities are hitting me. My health has gotten worse. My arthritis had a huge flare up this past summer. I also had to go on cholesterol medication. Then my last two doctor visits my blood pressure was high. This was a wake up call for me to get healthier.

I saw co-workers and members of my church go through a treatment called HCG. Many have lost 30+ pounds... some 60+. I did not jump on the bandwagon right away, because I knew that I did not need a miracle medicine, but a life change. I need new habits, new outlook on food, and a fresh start at living a healthy life.

I will be keeping you up to date on my progress as I start this weight loss process Christmas Day.

But that is just the physical discipline... I am also going to read through the entire Bible next year. As I look back this last year was not bad. It was good. But... next year is going to be better. And no matter what comes my way, I know I want to be grounded in God's Word. So I will be sharing progress on this as well.

So I will be changing my habits both physically and spiritually through adding discipline and accountability into these areas of my life this new year. My prayer is that as I focus on the physical and spiritual, God will indwell in my relational, emotional, and mental aspects of life. That starting with the two that I can better discipline will change all of me, not just to where I am skinny or healthy or happy, but to where I can better be used for my purpose on earth... sharing His love with others.

I hope you will journey with me through this process.

Love,
TiNA

Repost: Why I Believe in God

2010-09-06T09:57:00.000-07:00

This was originally posted on 1/26/08. As I was looking back over my blog I saw it and thought it worth re-posting. After blogging for many years, I am often surprised when I go back and read some of my past posts. Surprised how good they are, how willing I was to share, and that I continue to be surprise by how great God is.

--------------------

I had a comment on one of my favorite posts (Nugget of Truth: The Bridge) asking me why I believe in God. I think this is the most important question I have ever been asked and I am happy to answer. Sorry if this gets long, I am just going to be completely authentic and free flow it.

To be honest, I started off believing in God young. My parents went to church, so I went with them. I never saw any other belief system, and I was only 6 years old when I decided Jesus was the way to go. Some may say I was brainwashed, others lucky. I did not really know any other way. I wouldn't know another way for a long time. I had a great childhood growing up in churches and learning Bible stories, verses, singing praise hymns, and always feeling loved (by my family, my church, and my God).

In junior high and high school I start to see more of the world outside. My vice was romance novels. These took me to places I had never been, emotions I had never felt, and dreams I had never thought to dream. These put my mind in the clouds and started me down a path of living my life more in fantasy and theory, rather than reality.

It wasn't until college when I broke up with a guy who in my mind was going to be my husband, but in real life he had only asked me out on a handful of dates, he had written me notes and emails (more informative, than romantic), and we had only held hands like twice in the 5 years we were "dating" that I realized I was living in a dream world.

It was in the period after this breakup that I first began to doubt there was a God. Seems crazy to me that it took 14 years to doubt, but it did. Actually before this time I thought it was a sin to doubt the existence of God. Whenever I had friends say they doubted God or that they thought religion was a man made invention to control people, I would freak out and think they were automatically going to hell.

I realized that the choice I made as a child had to be backed up, or it was useless. My heart believed in God. I knew I had felt His presence in my life. That is why I made that decision as a child. But, I wasn't so sure about my head anymore. I began taking religion classes (funnily enough from a Jewish rabbi) as my electives and began learning more about the Old Testament and where Christianity came from. I was at a public university, so these were not "Jesus is the only way" classes, but "just the facts" type classes. I am grateful for that. It was more what I needed at that time in my life.

During my childhood I had some amazing experiences sharing and teaching about Jesus. I went back and reflected on those. Were they real or just more of this fantasy life that I had been living? I found that my searching and my reflecting made my belief stronger, not weaker. Unlike my fantasy world, what God promised came true in real life. I saw that without belief in an afterlife and eternal consequences for your actions, there is really no purpose to living at all.

I also saw that people in the Bible doubted. Thomas doubted, but Jesus did not say to him "Get out of here you doubter!" No, He addressed that doubt and gave Thomas the proof he needed to make him believe again.

I will not lie and say that after college I never doubted the existence of God again. That old thought still comes back when I least expect it. As soon as it does, I journal and I search once again and see the evidence in my life and the lives around me of His presence. I stand firm that there is a God. That Jesus is His Son and lived, died, and lives still. That we are not an accident that just happened. I will never know everything. I will never have all the facts. I really don't care about ALL the facts. My brain cannot handle all the information that is out there proving and disproving the existence of God.

So what it comes down to is faith. And faith is a choice. Without all the facts, do I still believe in God? That is a loud and resounding YES.

Dear anonymous commenter: I hope that wasn't too preachy. I was just trying to tell some of my story. Feel free to post more comments. I really don't want to debate and argue, just wanted to give my worldview on this. I hope that is what came accross.

Videos

2010-09-05T20:54:00.000-07:00

This past year I have been able to work on some amazing video projects, but few have given me chills. This past week I got chills every time I went to work on a project. It will be showing Sunday, September 12. It is the story of the Blackmores. Their story as a couple starts in a whirlwind. They met and were engaged in 4 months. Their wedding was in 3 more months, and they had their first child 9 months after their honeymoon. The rapid move from single to husband to dad was too much for the man. Things started down a path that led to divorce. If left there... it would be a tragic story about the death of a marriage.

Instead it really is a story about what happens when you give your life over to God. It is a story of healing. A story of reconciliation. If you are in the area, please do not miss this service! These are the moments where I sit back and marvel that God allows me to do what I do.

If I remember, I'll post it here after it shows this weekend. If I do not remember you can go see it at http://www.fbccoppell.org/media-videos (after it plays in the service).

The Ark Rap

2010-09-03T21:30:00.000-07:00

Here is a rap video the staff did for the opening of our new indoor playground called "The Ark". Sorry I wasn't able to make a cameo... I was behind the camera the whole time.
Enjoy!!

A Year Ago Today

2010-07-08T21:05:00.000-07:00

A post I wrote in about 10 minutes for our church blog today. Enjoy!

A year ago today I started working at FBC Coppell. As I sat in my office on that day I prayed. I prayed for God to use me here. I prayed that I would make new friends. I prayed for a home. I prayed for a family. I prayed that I had made the right decision leaving California and coming to Texas. I prayed for ideas and inspiration.

I was excited about being in a new place. I was excited about having new co-workers. I was excited about the church and where it was going. I was excited about what I brought to the plate because of my past experiences.

I was thankful for the opportunity to work and minister in my SHAPE. I was thankful for vision and direction. I was thankful for the Coates and Christopher Cass who never forgot to pray for and encourage me (especially from afar). I was thankful for a church that prayed for me to come.

And a year later.... prayers have been answered and all of this excitement and thankfulness has just increased. I just wanted to take a moment and say to my FBC Coppell family... THANK YOU!!! You are an answer to prayer! I look forward to my next year (and many more) here!!

Some of my highlights of the last year at FBC Coppell:

* Filming the Telling the Story videos where I get to meet and better know new members at FBC Coppell
* Buying my first house! And for the small group and co-workers that helped me move-in!!
* Easter Service 2010 - seeing all the people here and seeing the wall projection video come together with the live music and narration
* When Wes and I filmed Clayton teaching 6 small group videos in ONE day (The most non-ADD I have ever seen Clayton!)
* When Cody Masters out of the blue said, "We Are Becoming One" on their Telling the Story Video
* At staff retreat when Gary Cook shared with the group the Colossians 3 passage that rocked all of our worlds and started the "We Are Becoming One" vision for 2010.
* When my small group showed up at my Flower Mound Symphony Concert and gave me flowers
* Holding a copy of the first publication of the We Are Becoming ONE Magazine!
* That no one ever wants to leave small group time. We have to force ourselves to go home.

You're Not Alone

2010-04-20T06:39:00.001-07:00

Wrote this for our church blog... thought I would post here (since I haven't posted in forever)

Yesterday I was digging through boxes looking for a piece I wrote in college. In my searching I ran across a song I wrote based on a George Eliot quote. Here is the quote:

There is much pain that is quite noiseless; and vibrations that make human agonies a mere whisper in the roar of hurrying existence. There are glances of hatred that stab and raise no cry of murder and robberies that leave man or woman forever beggared of peace and joy, kept secret by the sufferer - committed to no sound except that of low moans in the night, seen in no writing except that made on the face by the slow months of suppressed anguish and early morning tears. Many an inherited sorrow that has marred a life has been breathed into no human ear.

In college I saw this quote as a call to arms. As a Christian it is my job to love others and love God. I can believe that, but how do I act on that. There are two ways I decided to act so that the quote above does not happen to those around me.

1. I speak. I share. I do not remain silent. When I share my pain, others will know they are not alone in their pain. I do not allow my sorrows to just be low moans in the night or tears no one sees. I write, I call, I facebook, I reach out to those who God has put in my path. I know this takes a vulnerability that makes me uncomfortable, but God blesses that and teaches me in that.

2. I notice. I care. I try to know my friends so well that I can tell when something is off. I ask. If someone seems down, I check in with them. I ask if they are ok and I am prepared to hear "no" and listen. Drawing them out of that dark place and reminded them of the light. That is what we are called to do as Christians. If they don't know about Jesus, share!

I am not perfect. I get caught up in tasks, in life, in my own sorrows, and let opportunities to love pass by me often. But reading quotes like those above, reading in scriputure about the highs and lows of the Christian walk, remind me once again to look, notice, listen, and love others.

(quote from Felix Holt, the Radical, Introduction, 1866)
church site: www.fbccoppell.org

Telling My Story at FBC Coppell

2010-02-05T20:50:00.000-08:00

Ditto 2010

2010-01-01T19:02:00.000-08:00

Ok, so I was reading through my blog and saw this post I did a year ago for 2009. The list of 2008 events may need to be replaced with other weddings, moves, and changes, but the rest I can just say ditto for 2010. Guess I didn't get as much done in 2009 as I originally set out to do. I did do the last thing on my list (Be more confident and take more risks at work) extremely well

My post last year:

2008 - A Year of Change (no this is NOT about Obama!)
Lisa and I were at lunch the other day talking about our hopes for 2009. Isn't it amazing what a new year brings. Part of looking ahead means looking back as well. 2008 could be summarized in one word for me: "change".

Here is just a short list of changes I have experienced in 2008:
I moved... not once, but twice!!
I got a new job (which is really two jobs. Which also meant I had to leave my old one.)
Three good friends got married (Danielle, Elizabeth, & Janine).
Many of my closest friends moved away (Marti, Danielle, The Coates Family, Janine, Elizabeth, Flora).
Three of my friends had babies! (Tyler, Nathan, & Karis)
A few of my friends have been in the hospital.
I have spoken twice at singles events (and liked it!).
... and I am sure there were many more I have forgotten.

Most of these were not easy changes at all. They had an emotional level on them that was at times too painful for words (if you read my blog... I think you probably know what I am talking about). Even in the happiest times, I often had a feeling of lost, regret, and sadness. Change is hard! I have had some major lows in 2008. That is not to say that it has all been bad, but a majority of my 2008 milestones were valleys. I pray that 2009 will bring more peaks.

My hopes for 2009 are to...
Spend more time with God. Inviting Him into my everything.
Have more opportunities to speak and write.
Deepen my current relationships. Including being more intentional with my family.
Love the girls in my small group better.
Start new relationships that have greater variety and diversity.
Better balance church life and non-church life (making non-church life more than just sitting home alone).
Go to a rheumatologist to start preventative treatments.
Travel more. (Including missions)
Be more confident and take more risks at work.

Ok... that's enough :) It's only a year, after all. Those are just my hopes and plans... I know God's will trumps all of those! And I am ok with that :)

To Dog or Not To Dog? That is the big question...

2009-12-31T14:29:00.001-08:00

So... I keep going back and forth on whether or not to get a dog. I have had two dogs in my life, Louie and Bert. Louie was an office dog at the ecommerce company I worked at. For about 6 months he would come to work with his owners, entertain the office, then go home with them at the end of the day. To Louie, I was the serious person. If he wanted to rest or go to the bathroom, needed food or water... he would come to me. Everyone else was good for a rub down or some rough play, but I was the "mother" type to him.
Bert is my parent's dog. He is a major sweetheart!! The kindest and most easy going pup I have ever seen. Though my dad wins out on his attention when home, when my dad is out, Bert is in my lap and can never be rubbed enough.

I see how these dogs added to the lives they touched. I also see the amount of time and work and money that goes into owning them. I really want the companionship of a dog... but I want it on my schedule. I don't know if choosing a dog that longs for me, yet leaving him/her in a yard all day is fair. We'll see.

Merry Christmas 2009!

2009-12-19T18:51:00.002-08:00

Bogus Staff Pictures

2009-10-27T19:32:00.000-07:00

Today we took new staff pictures for our church website. I know some that will not be making it onto the site (though have been well circulated in Facebook). Lets just say some people took this seriously... and others... well...

How do singles fit into a "family" church?

2009-10-04T11:30:00.000-07:00

As I have moved to Texas and a smaller church I have been struggling with and hear other singles here struggle with how to fit into a family church as a single adult. I think the solution is to be part of THE family.

Singles need to see that married life is not as glamorous as what they think and married adults need to see that the single life is not as glamorous as they think. Married or single, there are relational needs. That is how we were created. God Himself is in and has always been in relationship with Himself, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit.

I am not sure what all the needs are for someone who is married. But I can give some practical ideas on ways to help reach out as a family, the family of God, to singles you may know or see.

Ways as a Married couple you can reach out to singles in your church:
- Invite to a meal. Maybe a Sunday lunch. Everyone needs to eat, but everyone should not have to eat alone.
- Family night. If your family is having a family night, invite someone who is single to join. One of the longings of singles is to have a family. Why not yours, for a night!!
- Sit near us in church. Being single you are very away of personal space. You are also aware of who is in or near that personal space. I know there are days that go by where the nearest a person has gotten to me is standing behind me in line at Starbucks. If you see someone sitting alone, go sit in the seats directly in front or behind them. If you sit right next to, it is more distracting sometimes than helpful. Then engage them in conversation. Just knowing someone is near who cares... is huge!
- Set us up! Do not be afraid to set up singles. If you truly know the parties involved and believe that they are compatible, do it. Now, don't force anything to happen, but pray and ask. I know that I would much rather get a recommendation from a loving couple who know the personality and walk of a man, than a eHarmony match. So if the Spirit is putting these people on your heart, act and help them to meet!

Now, if you are reading this and are married, I'd LOVE to know how we as singles can reach out to you! There has to be something other than babysitting (though I know that is huge) that singles can do to help a married couple or the same gender individual within a couple. Please let us know!

Two points to clairfy (Cause I know this is a longer conversation than this blog can hold):
1. I know that having friends and hanging out with people who are in the same circumstances as yourself is really important too, but I pray that we will look beyond that and really begin to love all our neighbors.
2. The reason this was on my brain today is b/c there are so many in my church that get it!!! I was asked several times today if I needed help moving. Couple and singles jumped at the chance to help. We'll just see who all comes next weekend when it is time to put words to action...hehe ;) I love my church and how so many there truly desire it so be THE family that God calls us to be.

Amazing Juggler

2009-09-23T21:25:00.001-07:00

Weep

2009-09-11T06:28:00.000-07:00

Romans 12:15b says, "weep with those who weep". Today I remember. I remember sitting at the front desk of my dad's new office building. I remember JoRee sitting next to me. I cannot remember how we originally heard the news, but I remember scrambling to find a tv so we could see if the news was real. It was true... a plane had crashed into one of the World Trade Center Towers in NYC. The main question at the time was how. How did this happen? At that point, it was just an accident... a tragic accident.

As we continued to watch the news, we saw it. We saw the moment that hundreds more people died. We saw the second plane hit the other Tower. Our how turned to who. Who could be doing this to us? It was no longer an accident, this was intentional, this was sad, this was war. A mixture of emotions I had never felt before swelled. As the day continued, so did the tragedies. When would it all end? Would it end?

As I remember where I was today when I heard, when I saw the towers fall... my heart weeps. It weeps not for myself, though as an American I feel a victim of this crime, but my soul weeps for those who weep today. For millions this day is etched in their minds forever. May we never for get not only the events of the day, but to weep with those who weep.

Happy 10th Birthday, Maggie!

2009-09-09T16:14:00.000-07:00

House Hunters... Tina Edition

2009-08-25T20:29:00.000-07:00

On the show House Hunters they always show the couples 3 houses and they get one. So here are the three I want to see:

#1 -

#2 -

#3 -

And the winner is.... #3! :)

This church knows how to party!!

2009-07-29T07:41:00.000-07:00

During VBS we had a family night. It was a blast! Don't believe me. Check out these pictures!
View from the street...
View from the inside...
Girls having fun (including Coates girls)...
Even Tyler enjoyed himself...

Good Hi

2009-07-15T16:58:00.001-07:00

I wrote about having a good bye... now this is a good hello:

Watch Out TBN Here She Comes

2009-07-14T21:03:00.001-07:00

Web Site Story

2009-07-13T13:32:00.000-07:00

Summer of Change

2009-07-12T17:01:00.000-07:00

Transitions are inevitable in life. Some are brought on by our decisions, some by the decisions of others, and some come despite anything anyone could have done. It is how we deal with these transitions that show what kind of person we are.

This summer my life has once again turned on a dime. This transition brought about from my decision to follow God's prompting to change jobs and locations. I felt as though I was not thriving and needed more appreciation and direction. By submitting to the transition, I began to get both.

As I left California, the love and appreciation that others felt towards me and the work I had done was clearly evident. I know that most of the relationships there, though they will have to change, will not end.

I also am excited to see the direction God is taking my life now. I see a church who wants to reach and embrace their community and the world. I have been here a week and have has so many Facebook friend requests from church members who want to be in the loop of my life.

This transition though awkward at times (many times), has also been a true blessing in my life. I hope and pray that this time will show people how much I love God and the faith and trust I have in Him. I hope this time will be used for His glory. I know people are watching and trying to figure me out. When things are going along fine, people tend to not notice you as much. I know that this time now is when I have the opportunity to shine.

Lord, help me to be authentic and open to those around me at all times. As this transition continues, bring those into my life that need to see that people can radically change their life and be ok when you are at the center of that decision. Bring joy into my life and my relationships old and new. Thank you for loving me. Amen.

Texas!

2009-07-08T17:12:00.000-07:00

It is true. I am now in Texas! I know my blogging habits have been poor as of late. It is not that I didn't have anything to say... it is just I got out of the habit. I just need to get use to blogging again. I cannot promise any profound thoughts or extremely entertaining posts for the next few weeks... but who knows! :) Most of all, I just need to get back in the habit. Not sure what I will share yet. Maybe observations of my new home town, or new job, or why I left the old job... you'll have to come back to see. :)

The Importance of a "Good" Bye

2009-06-26T08:53:00.000-07:00

As my life is once again transitioning... as I am taking the next step in this faith journey, I am having to say a lot of goodbyes: to people, places, and circumstances. Goodbyes are never easy. You never know which are temporary and which are eternal. But I think most of all, they need to be good. Not easy, if they are easy, they are not good.

When you leave someone and something you love, it should not be an easy task. If it is, was it truly love? As I head to Texas, I am excited to see what God has in store for me there. I already have friends and people I love there, but all of that has been under a fog of sadness because of how good my byes has been in California. I am glad leaving has been so hard. It tells me that I poured out my heart and soul into this place and the people here.

As my mom travels out, the reality of it all is hitting me. The vacation is over... the goodbyes are almost all said.

By being intentional, encouraging and even sad... I hope people will remember how much I love them. They will remember my patience, my kindness, that I was not envious or proud. I hope they remember that I did not boast and was not rude or self-seeking. I do not want to be remembered as an angry person, but one who keep no records of wrongs. Remember me as someone who did not delight in evil, but always rejoiced with the truth. That I protected them, trusted them and pointed them towards hope. Most of all, I pray I never failed them. That is how I shrived to love them, because that is how God loves me.

I can't think of a better "good" bye than loving like that.

First Baptist Church Coppell

2009-06-24T23:51:00.000-07:00

I can't wait to be there and be a part of this amazing church:

My Father and His Sexy Tractor!

2009-06-19T10:39:00.001-07:00

Happy Father's Day Daddy!! Love the song you wrote!

Lego My Cello

2009-05-17T11:23:00.001-07:00

Nugget of Truth: Finding Nemo

2009-05-15T21:41:00.000-07:00

Finding Nemo was on tonight. I forgot how great this movie was!

Our Nugget of truth:

"P. Sherman
42 Wallaby Way
Sydney"

Many of us wander through life with out clear direction and vision. We search for that goal to strive for. We desire direction. We want a "P. Sherman, 42 Wallaby Way, Sydney"! For Marlin and Dorree this address gave them hope. Hope of finding his son, hope that moved them forward through their journey.

Want to know my "P. Sherman, 42 Wallaby Way"? It's found in Revelation 21:3-5.

And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, "Now the dwelling of God is with men, and he will live with them. They will be his people, and God himself will be with them and be their God. He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away."He who was seated on the throne said, "I am making everything new!" Then he said, "Write this down, for these words are trustworthy and true."

Knowing that someday, the struggles of this world will pass. Knowing that all the mistakes I have made will be gone. Knowing that sadness, sickness, loneliness, fear, and dead will be no more. Because I know Jesus Christ as my savior, messiah, and best friend... that is my future. I will continue to swim this life with that ahead of me.

PS- my second choice was going to be "Mine. Mine. Mine." and talk about how selfish we tend to be.

Online Small Groups

2009-05-15T12:52:00.000-07:00

First, I have to start off with an apology. We have been doing some amazing stuff with online Small Groups, well online ministry, at Saddleback and I have not been sharing that with the blogging world. I glean so much from those who share, yet I was not giving back. I want to do a better job at keeping those who are curious in the loop with the successes and learnings that we are having.

The Start of Online Small Groups at Saddleback:Refuel served as our launching pad for online groups. This campaign lent itself well to online groups for the following reasons:
1. The videos were short (10 minutes), fun, and already online.
2. The content was engaging. We did not have to work to keep conversation flowing. Though a slight retool was needed to get questions short and clear for online discussion.
3. It was already being advertised online, so we did not have to do cross platform promotions. We could grab people while they were already online to participate.

After Refuel we used our weekly “Talk it Over”, which is a study based on the weekend sermons. This required a lot more retooling and creativity to keep it engaging. Now we are using the “Wide Angle: Framing Your Worldview” study aligning with the Purpose Driven connection magazine. That is going really well with these groups.

We launched the Refuel online groups using volunteer hosts, retooled curriculum, landing page, and Mogulus embedded player. Mogulus.com, like uStream.tv, is a online broadcasting tool. It is like having your own channel on tv, except that it is online. This channel allows you to have live video feeds and chat. We chose Mogulus because it has more broadcasting features including the ability to feed YouTube and upload videos. This way we were able to upload the weekly studies, promo videos, and our own placeholder. The online groups meet for 1 hour, though the host often opens the group a little early and stays later for those wanting to chat.

For the Mogulus groups (which are still our default group type) the host is on webcam and the participants are in chat. The leader gives verbal prompting (most also type their questions in to the chat) for discussion questions. The hosts know that they are facilitating chat, not teaching, so that take a ton of pressure off of them. I’ll attach a sample schedule of what the small group time looks like.

Mogulus Benefits:
• Ease of use. For both the host and the member, mogulus has proven to be an easy program to figure out.
• Built in capabilities. Being able to upload video and use YouTube videos greatly enhances the overall group experience.
• Embeddable player. You can embed the mogulus channel into a page that has other information on it. This is great for giving the groups a home and branded to your church. Our landing page for these groups is http://www.saddleback.com/internetcampus/smallgroups/onlinesmallgroups/index.html.

Mogulus Issues:
• Cost. Mogulus has a free version. With the free channel there are commercials and pop-ups. The more bandwidth the channel uses the more commercials. In order to eliminate commercials, you have to go to the Pro version. This is a base cost of $350 a month per channel. There is a charge for additional bandwidth a space usage. This can add up fast, so you’ll need to watch it. If you decide to go with Mogulus, I can give you some tricks to help with the bandwidth though we are still learning as well.
• Latency. There is a delay between what the host says and when people see it. This varies per bandwidth. Some hosts struggle with this more than others. Seems the chat runs closer in time than video, so most host just solve this by using the chat more.
• Group Limitations. You’ll probably only have 1 channel. This means you can only have one group at a time. We have not run into this being an issue yet, but as a group grows over 10 people interaction gets confusing and not everyone is heard (like in a traditional group).

Keep checking my blog for more learnings and stories!!

Great Example of Online Ministry

2009-05-07T16:34:00.001-07:00

HeLives.com - DTS - Internet Ministry from John on Vimeo.

I want one!

2009-04-30T20:41:00.001-07:00

There’s A Song in My Heart

2009-04-22T16:18:00.000-07:00

In the message this weekend Pastor Rick spoke about how life on earth is a temporary assignment and that part of practicing for eternity and fulfilling our purpose in life is worshipping God. I know that worshiping God involves more than just music. Some other elements of worship such as obedience, prayer, fasting or writing may resonate more with others, but for me, it is music.

This morning I woke up with a praise song in my head. This is not a rare thing for me. I never know what song it will be, so I always know it is going to be a good day when it is a praise song. What is rare about today is that the songs haven’t stopped. All day long when there has been a quiet moment, my head has been filled with song after song. I’m talking random songs! From something they sang on American Idol this week, to songs from the service, to songs I haven’t sang since I was a child in Sunday School (“God said to Noah, build me an arky arky”). It’s one of those days where it seems that every thing my co-workers said reminded me of lyrics a song.

All today music has been filling my head, on my lips, and in my heart. The great part is that no matter what the song, it made me think of God. Because of that, today I have felt like a true worshiper.

Days like today are rare for me, but they are ones that I treasure. I pray you will have one soon!

Speak to one another with psalms, hymns and spiritual songs. Sing and make music in your heart to the Lord, always giving thanks to God the Father for everything, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.
Ephesians 5:19-20 (emphasis added)

Photoshop Fun

2009-04-20T21:31:00.000-07:00

Original photo:

Cello Girl in the desert:

Cello Girl in the Gardens:

Now the fun part starts:

What God is Teaching Me...

2009-04-19T20:25:00.001-07:00

I know I haven't been blogging lately. Sorry about that. I have been writing more in my journal instead. I am ready to share one of those entries.

The difference between humility and timidity
a reflection on 2 Tim 1:6-7

"For this reason I remind you to fan into flame the gift of God, which is in you through the laying on of my hands. For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline."

I have been really challenged by this verse as of late. I know that I have talents and skills that those around me do not possess. I have two options on how to approach using those talents: timidity or humility.

Observations:
- Denying or hiding my talents... timidity
- Using these gifts without holding them over the heads of others... humility
- Admitting the gifts I do not possess and encouraging others that have them... humility
- Holding back from doing my best due to anxiety or fear... timidity
- Not wanting to share my gifts and be lazy... timidity
- Using my skills even when I don't want to b/c I know something needs to be done... humility
- The opposite of strength, power, love, and self discipline... timidity
- The opposite of pride... humility

Timidity seeps from me. It is my reaction to pride, fear, worry and those are not from God. Lord forgive me for my doubts, my fears, for stressing when You have everything under Your control. Help me to live life with Your gift of a spirit of strength, power, love, and self-discipline. Help me to truly fan into flames the gifts you have given me while I help and encourage others to do the same with the gifts you have given them. Amen.

Why I love The Colbert Report

2009-04-19T18:49:00.000-07:00

The Colbert Report

Mon - Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c

Bart Ehrman

colbertnation.com

Colbert Report Full Episodes

Political Humor

NASA Name Contest

Yes another video

2009-04-05T22:25:00.000-07:00

The intelligence level of my blog is about to go down another notch, but i had to:

Videos

2009-03-19T13:03:00.000-07:00

I am looking for videos that could be used as additional discussion in the upcoming Refuel study. Don't think we'll use this one:

But it's fun! :)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3V0mhsGsbDo

New Weight Loss Plan

2009-03-12T00:17:00.000-07:00

I am looking a bit pale these days and have loss about 5.5 lbs this week. The mind is strong, but the body is weak. Thanks for all the prayers, tweets, facebook comments. It has been an up and down week. Every time I have felt better, it was soon followed by a low. I have new meds that I am praying work to cut the up and down pain in my abdomen. They are suppose to make me tired, but I just got a sudden burst of energy (hence the blog entry)... hoping that will go away and not reoccur when I have to take the meds again at 3am :) Anyway... just wanted to prove to those who were doubting it... I am still alive and just riding this wave where it takes me. Thanks for all the love.

Never Saw It this Way

2009-03-10T22:16:00.000-07:00

Thanks Matt. Check his blog out here: http://hokma.com/.

Jake Rutenbar is Back

2009-03-04T17:29:00.001-08:00

Jake has come out with two new videos... AMAZING!

This one wins for suprising depth:

This one wins for having a hook that I cannot get out of my head:

Tech Tina: Google Reader

2009-02-24T11:45:00.000-08:00

I haven't done a Tech Tina in a while. I guess I felt the pressure to go out and find the coolest and newest technology to introduce everyone to. After teaching a workshop at last week's Saddleback Small Group Conference, I learned that some of the tools I use everyday might be a better feature. Many people are still not using RSS. This one thing revolutionized my online experience. When I sit down at the computer I do not surf through website after website looking for updates and news. I log into Twitter, Facebook, and Google Reader and have all the news I would want about those in my life that I'd want.

I wrote an article on the small groups blog at Saddleback on Rss and how I use google reader. Check it out here or read it below :)

When you are on a website have you ever seen something that looks like this and/or says "subscribe", "feed" or "RSS" and wondered what it meant. Even more so, why you should do this? I hope this article helps you to not only understand these things, but see how using them will revolutionize your online experience.

So, let's say you find a blog or website that you really like. Most people would bookmark or add that site to their favorites, so they can go back and see it again. As you find more and more sites that you like, your bookmarks/favorites grow and grow. It is left up to you to go to those sites and see what changes and updates are made.

When you subscribe to a site you use an RSS Reader, such as Google reader, My Yahoo, or bloglines (to name a few), and they will gather all the new and updated information from these sites for you. This way you only have to visit one site instead of each site indiviually to keep up with your friends, current news, or information you would like from a website.

Let me walk you through how this would actually look if you were not using feeds and if you were. I am going to use Google Reader as my "catch all"/RSS device.

Without Google Reader:

I sit down at my computer. I go to my bookmarks and find my favorite news website and click on it. Read a few articles. Then I go to my bookmarks again and go to my friends blog to see what is going on in her life. There is nothing new, so I go to my bookmarks and go to the Saddleback small groups blog to see if there are any new posts there. There is one and I read that.

With Google Reader:

I sit down at my computer. I go to my bookmarks and go to Google Reader. I scroll through and read all the articles, entries, and posts from my favorite websites.

This video does a great job explaining this in more detail:

Once you have an account setup you can click the icon and it will take you to a page to add this to your RSS Reader. You can also add them directly on the google reader, my yahoo, or RSS reader site.

Now that you know how to subscribe, here are some Saddleback links you may want to add to your RSS reader:
Small Group Blog
Men's Ministry Blog
Women's Ministry Blog (coming soon!)
Married Life Blog
Element Singles Ministry Blog
Epic Post-College Ministry Blog
The Fuse Blog
Saddleback Youth Blogs

I miss Lance Witt

2009-02-19T16:33:00.000-08:00

Boy do I miss Lance Witt here at Saddleback. Here are some quotes from his talk at our Small Groups Conference today.

"i want more than anything to know and love Jesus. Ministry should be an overflow of that."

"sometimes we can love our ministry and not love our people"

"Beware of the danger of blurring the line between your ministry and your identity."

"For those in ministry, compliments are written in the sand and criticism is written in wet cement." (WOW... he is talking to me!)

"The biggest enemy I have in living a Christian life is me and myself."

"why was it so important to have your name mentioned?"

"the greatest gift you give to those you lead is your own authentic walk with God." (Love this one!!!)

"Sabbath is about the rhythm of life."

"Speed and intimacy do not make good partners"

"It's not about your front stage life, it is about your back stage life."

Love this quote

2009-02-11T20:59:00.000-08:00

"You know your’re in the midst of spiritual warfare by whether you are being destroyed or built up. Satan always wants to bring out the most destructive part of our lives, while God wants to bring out our most constructive parts. Satan tears down and God builds up. Satan wants to box you in and convince you that feeling remorseful (”I’m sorry I got caught”) is better than being repentant (I’m sorry I sinned”). When you’ve sinned and you know it and you’re not willing to admit it, giving up is really your only option since you can’t live a duplicitous life as a disciple.”

-C. Mark Corts, The Trust About Spiritual Warfare: Your Place In The Battle Between God and Satan. p. 54.

Video Blog... God is Fair. God is Just.

2009-02-08T19:08:00.000-08:00

Sorry another video, but it's a good one!

2009-02-03T15:04:00.000-08:00

No Matter What Your Politics... THAT Is A Moment For The History Books

2009-02-02T20:25:00.001-08:00

Thanks Ragamuffinsoul.com for this. :)

My offical Birthday Pic

2009-01-30T14:58:00.000-08:00

This is the best of all the pictures I tried to take of myself on my birthday. Thanks to Sheila for my birthday hair-do. And mom and dad for the cool balloons! :)

My Birthday Prayer

2009-01-29T07:39:00.000-08:00

Before I read an email, check my Facebook wall, pick up that phone with voice mails and texts... before I get caught up in the me-ness of the day this is my prayer:

Lord, I pray that out of Your glorious riches You may strengthen me with power through You Spirit in my inner being, so that Christ may dwell in my heart through faith. I pray that I be rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge - that I may be filled to the measure of the fullness of God.
Now to Him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to HIS POWER that is at work within us, to Him be the GLORY in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever!! Amen.

(Eph. 3:16-21)

Woe Beget

2009-01-28T19:58:00.000-08:00

Yes, it's that time of year when I sit and reminisce on the last year and turning another year older. Hang in there with me, I'll try to not make it too long.

30 has been an interesting age. I remember my struggles as a 29 year old about turning 30. Now that I am in this decade, my age not a big deal as much as my life stage. Being single is a struggle to continually know, feel, and believe that God is enough in the face of desires, dreams, and disappointments. Every time I ask myself why I am not married, why don't I have children yet, why am I living so far away from my family... my answer is "God is enough". This does not change my desire, but surrenders it.

I am finding that my focus is the problem, not my faith. I believe that I will get married, that I will have a child, that I will continue to have quality time with my family. I thank God in advance for all of that. The problem is I too often focus on what I do not have, instead of the splendid miracles around me that God performs daily.

So my birthday wish is not "woe to me", but wow to God. As I continue to practice a life of stopping and connecting with God, I pray that is the attitude with which I more often come to Him.

Stop

2009-01-26T17:42:00.001-08:00

I am loving Doug Fields new book Refuel. I finished the chapter this morning on Stopping. Stopping to put margin in your life. Stopping to bring God into your day. Stopping to break the lies that society screams ever louder that busyness = success. Today is day one of my stopping. My first attempt was to cut off the radio and try praying. That was great except the fact that I was in an unfamiliar car on unfamiliar roads and ended up 40 minutes in the wrong direction before I stopped my stop and turned back on the radio and my attention to the surroundings. I hope to get better at my stops... (kinda like I am right now blogging). I know practicing stops is going to help me so much. It is just too doggone practical not to.

Been a little out of sorts lately. Here are the signs:

2009-01-24T21:54:00.000-08:00

1. I haven't been writing blogs.
2. I haven't been taking pictures.
3. I have been on the computer way too much.
4. I have been spending more time alone.
5. I have felt criticized and unimportant.
6. I am using the word I too much!

Lord, Thank you for being there even when I feel like I am not. Thank you for being steady when I am weak. Thank you for loving me, when I don't. Your presence is true. Your love is pure. Your grace undeserved. Your hope, my hope. Whatever this funk is, let it pass and may I be closer to you when it does. Amen.

Inspired by Refuel - Chapter 2

2009-01-20T22:40:00.000-08:00

First it is just audio... ignore the lack of graphics. Just easier to upload videos than audio these days.

Did this for a team meeting. It went off so well. I had to preface with a "sorry for lack of quality... it actually is totally different from what I planned, but it was were my heart was".

Rick's Prayer

2009-01-20T18:55:00.000-08:00

Almighty God, Our Father, everything we see and everything we can’t see exists because of You alone. It all comes from You, it all belongs to You, it all exists for Your glory. History is your story. The Scripture tells us, ‘Hear, oh Israel, the Lord is our God, the Lord is one’ and You are the compassionate and merciful one and You are loving to everyone You have made.
Now today we rejoice not only in America’s peaceful transfer of power for the 44th time, we celebrate a hinge-point of history with the inauguration of our first African American president of the united states. We are so grateful to live in this land, a land of unequaled possibility, where a a son of an African Immigrant can rise to the highest level of our leadership. And we know today that Dr. King and a great cloud of witnesses are shouting in heaven.

Give to our new president, Barack Obama, the wisdom to lead us with humility, the courage to lead us with integrity, the compassion to lead us with generosity. Bless and protect him, his family, Vice President Biden, the Cabinet and every one of our freely elected leaders.

Help us, oh God, to remember that we are Americans. United not by race or religion or by blood, but to our commitment to freedom and justice for all. When we focus on ourselves, when we fight each other, when we forget you, forgive us.

When we presume that our greatness and our prosperity is ours alone, forgive us. When we fail to treat our fellow human beings and all the earth with the respect that they deserve, forgive us. And as we face these difficult days ahead, may we have a new birth of clarity in our aims, responsibility in our actions, humility in our approaches and civility in our attitudes—even when we differ.

Help us to share, to serve and to seek the common good of all. May all people of good will today join together to work for a more just, a more healthy and a more prosperous nation and a peaceful planet. And may we never forget that one day, all nations, all people will stand accountable before You. We now commit our new president and his wife Michelle and his daughters, Malia and Sasha, into your loving care.

I humbly ask this in the name of the one who changed my life—Yeshua, Esa, Jesus, Jesus—who taught us to pray:

Our father, who art in heaven, hallowed be Thy name. Thy kingdom come, Thy will be done, on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread, and forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us. And lead us not into temptation but deliver us from evil, for thine is the kingdom and the power and the glory forever. Amen.

got this from http://www.morethandodgeball.com/?p=5047 :)

SOOOO FUNNY!!!

2009-01-19T23:10:00.000-08:00

Us Mac user are totally cool (and sometimes this gullible... it took me a whole 10 seconds before I realized it was a joke. Should have looked at the source, duh TiNA!)!

Apple Introduces Revolutionary New Laptop With No Keyboard

My favorite line... "Everything is just a few hundred clicks away."

Michael Scott Quote of the Week:

2009-01-19T20:14:00.000-08:00

"My philosophy is basically this (and this is something that I live by, and I always have, and I always will): Don't ever, for any reason, do anything to anyone for any reason, ever no matter what, no matter where, or who or who you were with, or where you are going or where you have been, ever, for any reason what-so-ever."

Wow... so true! You always put things so eloquently Michael!

What is Cool?

2009-01-12T18:36:00.000-08:00

This was a great way to spend my night:

Happy Birthday, Fischer!!

2009-01-10T21:39:00.000-08:00

Jan. 11 is Fischer's 2nd birthday!! I so wish I lived closer and could spend it with him. This song is a little sadder than my usual, but it is where my heart is right now. Praying Fischer gets well soon and has a great birthday!

Update on Fischer

2009-01-04T09:15:00.000-08:00

For those of you who follow me here instead of on Facebook.

Click here for an update on how my nephew is doing.

Thank you for your prayers, emails, and comments of love and encouragement!!

Please Pray for My Nephew!! - Guest Blogger

2009-01-03T08:21:00.000-08:00

Fischer At The Hospital But No Room At The Inn
from Peach Holler by my dad

Yesterday was a long and trying day for Don and Buffy. Fischer’s 2nd birthday is only 8 days out and he was admitted to the children’s hospital. As a stomach virus (my diagnosis) ran through the NC family, Fischer displayed symptoms that exceeded those of the other s - mainly a sense of dizziness which made him stumble and eventually crossing his eyes. A visit to the pediatrician led to a trip to the emergency room where he spent the balance of the day and was officially admitted for a 48 hour observation. It seems the white cell count was high. A spinal tap followed some other extensive procedures and the doctors decided to monitor him with expectations that this count will come down. The word meningitis is very intimating to this grandfather.

Sick children are a norm for parents. But admission to the hospital is no picnic. It is only human nature to think the worst. And then God reminds us that all of us are temporal, but His love started long ago and is as strong today (and 48 hours from now) as it was on that first Christmas Day.

Don let Fischer talk to me on the phone last night. His sounds were left to my skills of interpretation, as his vocabulary is yet to be clear and/or expanded. But his laughter and sense of play was communicated from that ER room to my BlackBerry and into my heart. Of course, my early morning prayers start and stop with intercession for my only begotten grandson. May God, the Great Physician, grant the hand of healing to be placed fully upon that little boy. May God wrap his arms around Don and Buffy as they wrestle with the anxieties that are common to every parent in this situation? And may this same prayer be multiplied for each and every child in that hospital, as there was no room available at the time of the phone conversation (no room at the inn). Many other parents, siblings and grandparents are surely offering this same prayer, or versions thereof.

In JESUS name, Rick Warren and I pray! (I am guessing this was for me to smile... and it achieved that purpose [did you catch the pun there???]. -TiNA)

So... what to blog in 2009?

2009-01-02T23:51:00.000-08:00

With the new year comes a fresh start in my blogging life. I am praying about what to blog this coming year. I know it will be an adventure no matter what it is. That is just how my life unfolds. :) Hope you will take this ride with me. Thanks for reading!!

Great Pic from Our Christmas Services

2008-12-23T11:00:00.000-08:00

Great Interview With Rick Warren!

2008-12-22T13:55:00.001-08:00

Rick did an amazing job on Dateline. See the interviews here:

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/3032600/

Merry Christmas!

2008-12-21T20:31:00.000-08:00

Bye 2008 - Video Edition

2008-12-20T22:50:00.000-08:00

To go with my 2008 post. Enjoy!!

Christmas Concerts!

2008-12-19T11:29:00.000-08:00

So cool! Here is a video from our Christmas concert! You can see me about a 1:30 into this clip :)

Other videos from the night can be seen here: http://web.me.com/flugelboy/Creative_Arts/Videos.html
They are all really good!

2008 - A Year of Change (no this is NOT about Obama!)

2008-12-18T19:01:00.000-08:00

Lisa and I were at lunch the other day talking about our hopes for 2009. Isn't it amazing what a new year brings. Part of looking ahead means looking back as well. 2008 could be summarized in one word for me: "change".

Here is just a short list of changes I have experienced in 2008:
I moved... not once, but twice!!
I got a new job (which is really two jobs. Which also meant I had to leave my old one.)
Three good friends got married (Danielle, Elizabeth, & Janine).
Many of my closest friends moved away (Marti, Danielle, The Coates Family, Janine, Elizabeth, Flora).
Three of my friends had babies! (Tyler, Nathan, & Karis)
A few of my friends have been in the hospital.
I have spoken twice at singles events (and liked it!).
... and I am sure there were many more I have forgotten.

Most of these were not easy changes at all. They had an emotional level on them that was at times too painful for words (if you read my blog... I think you probably know what I am talking about). Even in the happiest times, I often had a feeling of lost, regret, and sadness. Change is hard! I have had some major lows in 2008. That is not to say that it has all been bad, but a majority of my 2008 milestones were valleys. I pray that 2009 will bring more peaks.

My hopes for 2009 are to...
Spend more time with God. Inviting Him into my everything.
Have more opportunities to speak and write.
Deepen my current relationships. Including being more intentional with my family.
Love the girls in my small group better.
Start new relationships that have greater variety and diversity.
Better balance church life and non-church life (making non-church life more than just sitting home alone).
Go to a rheumatologist to start preventative treatments.
Travel more. (Including missions)
Be more confident and take more risks at work.

Ok... that's enough :) It's only a year, after all. Those are just my hopes and plans... I know God's will trumps all of those! And I am ok with that :)

Merry Christmas!

2008-12-15T14:56:00.001-08:00

Hope everyone is having a great Christmas Season!

At work I have been pulling together a Christmas devotional on Luke 1 & 2. It is called The Christmas Story Revisited. Check it out here: http://www.saddlebackfamily.com/blogs/smallgroups/index.html

This picture was taken at the Doors of Faith orphanage in La Mission, Mexico. I got the privileged of helping put on a Christmas party for the kids there. They were all so happy and loved. What an amazing place. If you are looking for somewhere to help this Christmas, go check out their website and help.

Love my Team

2008-12-09T17:47:00.000-08:00

Here is a live picture of the Red Hot Oompa Loompas:

We did not win the overall competition, but we did win the spirit award!!

Here is our team flyer

2008-12-07T20:33:00.000-08:00

Tomorrow we are having our Small Groups team Christmas Day. They have separated us into teams that are going to do a variety of competitions. I got switched from one team to another. What that meant was I am completely comfortable with my teammates. Due to this I am going a little crazy overboard, but what fun. We are going to be the Red Hot Oompa Loompas and here is our flyer:
(do ya get it... see the red hots in the background... i thought that was a stoke of genius.)
I really hope we win. We have a few more suprises up our sleeves, but someone from the office may read this blog post, so I'll have to share those after tomorrow (and hopefully some pics!)

Saddleback Small Groups Blog

2008-12-03T15:15:00.000-08:00

I know I have not been writing as much on my blog. SO sorry about that. I have been writing now for our small groups blog at church. It is great, fun, and so rewarding. You can check it out here: http://www.saddlebackfamily.com/blogs/smallgroups/ Also send the link to whoever you think would enjoy it.

Fun Times

2008-11-28T09:09:00.000-08:00

Happy Turkey Day!!

2008-11-27T10:36:00.001-08:00